tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104577365608411956.post1393959310153515633..comments2023-05-28T08:22:33.896-07:00Comments on Dating Difficulties: Communican't...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10218146978942154314noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104577365608411956.post-28436989448321584032012-07-26T00:42:31.217-07:002012-07-26T00:42:31.217-07:00Communication is key in EVERY relationship. It'...Communication is key in EVERY relationship. It's because of communication (or lack of) that my parents are going through a possible divorce. People who lived and loved each other for 20 years just stopped because there was no communication and feelings were hidden that never should have. So communication and honesty may not be in the family proclamation but I truely believe if you don't have it, it can and may destroy that relationship eventually.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104577365608411956.post-26735420466479975082012-07-23T09:19:33.059-07:002012-07-23T09:19:33.059-07:00My relationship with my husband was based more off...My relationship with my husband was based more off of chemistry and spontaneity, not necessarily communication. Luckily, my husband isn't a lying cheating player, so that helped a lot ;) Can I suggest a book for you to read? "An Affair Proof Marriage" it's written by a marriage counselor.Emily P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01345081469374595040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104577365608411956.post-40615613627329623732012-07-23T09:00:49.555-07:002012-07-23T09:00:49.555-07:00My friend with a degree in family relationships sa...My friend with a degree in family relationships said that The Family Proclamation says how strong family relationships are formed. And Communication is not in that list. But it just might help me feel better when it feels like two people can never adequately talk.Alicia Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10359407708705550211noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104577365608411956.post-82737217287312531242012-07-18T23:55:21.238-07:002012-07-18T23:55:21.238-07:00I'm in complete agreement with Camille about t...I'm in complete agreement with Camille about the lack of ability to articulate our feelings at times. I know for me it can take some time and some focused internal observation to be able to describe what I'm feeling and why.<br /><br />Lack of communication is one of my biggest pet peeves in stories. One recent popular teenage romance series comes to mind where the heroine was so irritatingly closed off and unwilling to communicate that I almost stopped reading several times. I recognize that it was the author's chosen device to move the plot forward, but all I could think was: for goodness sake, would you open your mouth and tell someone how you feel?<br /><br />Regarding over-communication: my wife comes from a family where they do quite a bit of talking (which balances quite nicely with my tendency to do no talking). Early in our marriage, we had some issues to overcome with over communication. She would describe her feelings to me about her job and her life and because the negative feelings were the strongest, they got the most attention. That left me with the impression that life was hell for her. It wasn't. Communication is great, but what you are communicating is also important. There needs to be a balance or an emphasis on the positive, or the resulting conversation will so often be negative that you would be sabotaging your relationship.Sam Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15485029711534967771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104577365608411956.post-85129691832769943292012-07-18T23:53:55.176-07:002012-07-18T23:53:55.176-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Leumashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04132124339444731481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104577365608411956.post-84241577455506107622012-07-17T11:11:22.577-07:002012-07-17T11:11:22.577-07:00CamilleBJuly 17, 2012 11:07 AM
I think sometimes ...CamilleBJuly 17, 2012 11:07 AM<br /><br />I think sometimes people FEEL things, like hesitation or uncertainty, before they are able to ARTICULATE them properly. That is why we feel sometimes and act out of those feelings (needing space, time out) without eing able to honestly put to words what we need. Also, it is often those time outs that allow us the reflection time to be able to figure out exactly what IS going on with us in our intuitive, possibly subconscious realms that is affecting us in a weird way (weird because we cannot quite put our finger on what is going on yet). I think often a relationship has beats - and people have beats - and those beats happen naturally and fluidly when acceptance and allowing of the unfolding of whatever happens is alive in both parties. In short, if you prod in the early stages for the bud to blossom, or out of want to know why it isn't blossoming at a certain rate that you may like, you may damage or kill the bloom. <br /><br />Good things take time. Sometimes we speak out of fear, and wanting to pin the other down. As long as you are no acting out of fear I think it OK to have the "State of the Union" talks. But in the beginning phases there is so much being laid down in the foundations of a relationship that to talk about what it is might not yet be possible. Just my thoughts. <br /><br />I think the latter portion of your posting makes it clear that you are already conscious and thoughtful about your own contribution to your perceptions, and are looking to become more aware of your potential filters of fear or patterning, and thus will be liberated from those filters, in short time! :-) <br /><br />You are a heroic figure of a man, Paul.CamilleBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07287878660400056847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104577365608411956.post-82477586838147570532012-07-17T10:07:44.424-07:002012-07-17T10:07:44.424-07:00Looking back on my youthful cluelessness, I deeply...Looking back on my youthful cluelessness, I deeply regret the missed opportunities to know people's hearts within the rich social oppportunities of the single life- school, parties, church activities. We would all be blown away by the amazing people around us if we would be more willing to divulge our real thoughts. We would also get a lot clearer about our real feelings if we would try harder to express them verbally. Bravo, Paul. Another valuable post.Kat Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02932919561105339683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6104577365608411956.post-13013892250825505832012-07-17T08:40:14.877-07:002012-07-17T08:40:14.877-07:00I think the ideas you expressed are the reason I w...I think the ideas you expressed are the reason I was comfortable getting engaged after only 2 months of dating.. My husband and I skipped the pretending to be someone we aren't phase and went straight to communicating with each other. When I didn't kiss him the first time he tried, I told him why. When he saw me hanging out with another guy and it bothered him, we talked about our relationship and where it was going. I agree that open and honest communication is the way to go.Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13045983711360704707noreply@blogger.com