Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Content with discontentment, life's fun balance...

I am writing this following a most amazing road trip to Salt Lake City via Las Vegas. It was as if the Lord scheduled this trip for me to become reaquainted with family and friends. I was able to have such amazing conversations and experiences as each step of the trip unfolded and my faith and determination to follow the will of the Lord was strengthened.

(My uncle Bruce, his son Sam, and Sam's foster baby)

Throughout my journey I was reminded of a talk I gave in a sacrament meeting a few months ago which I entitled "content with a discontent life." It seems that life is not always exactly what we want it to be, there are disappoints, setbacks, discouragements, heartaches and heartbreaks, yet through all of this if we can learn to be content with whatever the Lord has in store for us, and learn to focus on the blessings we have, instead of the hardships, we can be at complete peace and have a fulness of joy no matter what our circumstance, or no matter what is troubling us.

(President and Sister Cutler, my loving mission president and his wife. No two people have more love and compassion than these two. They have been a tremendous blessing in my life, not only during the mission, but in the loving years since as we have stayed in communication)

I felt I needed to take this trip to clear my mind of certain hardships and difficulties that have been on my heart and soul for several months now, and with each family member and friend that I became reaquainted with I was able to share my experiences to them, and they in turn were able to share experiences with me that helped strengthened my faith, as well as theirs.

Through this trip I was able to have heart felt discussions with my uncle Bruce and my Aunt LIz, and their children, my mission president and his wife, my old mission companion Paul Jones and his wife Laura, my dear mission friend David Stott, as well as another missionary friend of mine James Lawyer and his wife Katie, my good friends Lauren and Rinda Romney who I knew from the San Marcos ward before they went to BYU. I was also able to attend the Saturday morning session of conference and the trip was topped off as I was able to drive back through Las Vegas on the way home and see my uncle
(My dear friend Lauren Romney, we went to conference together Saturday morning and then lunch afterwards, and had a most wonderful time becoming reaquainted with each other)
Bruce once more, who then gave me a most powerful and profound blessing.
Through this experience I became far more contenet and grateful for the life I have been given by the Lord, despite my current discontentments. I have a renewed faith and determination to serve Him and to not fear the future, but to trust that the Lord will supply my need and my want, as long as I am obedient to his commandments. I am so very grateful for loving and supporting friends and family, who on such short notice took me into their homes and into their hearts as I journeyed alone seeking a greater understanding of the Lord and His will for me. It was as if the Lord hand-picked for me the friends to visit, and the experiences I would have.
(James and Katie Lawyer, we were all on the mission at the same time, and began our friendship there. They got married afterwards, and we enjoy a warm friendship)
Although my life is not at all that I want it to be right now, and there is much I strive for and much I pray for and desire, I can say in all truthfulness that I am completely content with what the Lord has given me, and for the wonderful and marvelous life I have to live each day in which I am so blessed to do so. And although it is clear that there is much trial ahead, more blessings to be bestowed, more challenges to over come, more disappoints to experience, and much more joy to be felt, I am perfectly content with my wonderfully and amazingly discontent life! Come what may, come what may not,
I know in whom I have trusted, and I will never know true want, unless the Lord wills it to be so, in which case I will be perfectly content with that as well...As for now my mind is clear of doubt, my heart full of love and charity, and my soul full of faith and hope for the future, and I thank my loving Heavenly Father for making it so.
(Paul and Laura Jones. Paul and I were zone leaders together back in Perrysburg. Laura was also a missionary in our mission and Paul and Laura met there, and then hooked it up at BYU. We had some fun times catching up over the weekend!)


  1. A most excellent adventure! Travel is always a great re-focuser, and travel to conference is an amazing spirit-lifter. Spending time with Bruce and Liz and their kids is the best of all. I'm so glad you decided to undertake this journey of discovery.

  2. Love the blog! Thanks for the shout out...we are glad that you got home safe. I was amazed at hearing a story so similar to my own. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. It is a testimony that the Lord does know us and cares about us. When we are paying attention, we see Him; even in the tiniest details of our lives.

  3. Sounds like a great trip Paul!

  4. I am so happy for you Paul! You look so happy in these photos and it reminded me of how important it is to have the spirit in one's life. You, and the people in these photos look like they have the spirit in their lives and it shows through their smiles. :)

  5. It was great seeing you for the few minutes that I could. Look forward to your next visit, and I hope it's under lighter circumstances.

  6. Green! Aloha! You are just an amazing person. Your writing totally uplifted me and I didn't know I was down! Thank you. Sounds like you had a great road trip. Next time head south and come see us!